are the angels crying?
by a cold day in december
Summary: But she'd let it go, because well, she's Jade for God's sake. Not caring about stuff was almost in her job description. / Jade and how uses the rain to cope. Beck/Jade Beck/Tori.


**disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**a/n:** I don't actually know... I just felt like writing it really. Sorry if it makes no sense whatsoever.

**prompt: **rain.

**music:** cold - rain song

* * *

**are the angels crying?**

* * *

"_It rains here all the time."_

;;

Jade finds herself repeating the phrase over and over.

It relates to everything in her life, even if she's not sure how it does so. She doesn't really know what it means to be honest; she read it on one of those stupid quote pages, the word depression as a tag, and she never ever forgot it.

That was when she was thirteen, and now she's sixteen.

Jade reckons that the definition of _here_ is different for everyone.

Rain.

What an interesting concept.

;;

"Why is it _still raining_?" Tori had whined. Jade had been surprised, she had refrained from whining the last three days about the rain, not even being an optimistic little cow, just not commenting. Because of this, Jade felt inclined to second her statement.

But this was Jade, so obviously, she did the exact opposite.

"It's been raining for three days, idiot, where have you been?" Jade sighs and takes a sip of her coffee. She hates the taste, but likes the concept because straight black coffee is so, so bitter, just like her.

"Did you think it was just going to let up that easily?" Her tone is mocking and Tori just glares at her. That makes Jade laugh. What? It really is funny.

"Sorry, I'm not the stupid weather girl." Tori says in reply. Jade realises that's not what she actually said when everyone laughs at the comment.

Because of Jade's perspective of Tori, her brain automatically changes whatever she says to something dumber, less witty than what she probably did. Jade rolls her eyes anyway.

"They said thunderstorm brainless. Afraid you're going to get your pretty little hair wet?" Jade says, as if talking to a five year old. Tori only smiles.

"Thanks for the compliment, _babe_, and no actually, I wanted to go and visit my grandma because she's sick, but this weather is being so annoying!" Tori bangs her fist on the table, albeit gently and the groans, putting her face in her hands.

Jade is pretty sure, right in the moment, that she really would be sympathetic if she knew how.

"I'm sorry?" Jade says, it comes out more like a question. Maybe trying sympathy was a bad idea.

Jade always knew change was bad.

;;

One time, she went over to Beck's and they hid in his RV for hours, ordering pizza and drinking everything that was in his mini fridge. She remembers the smell of damp and the strong grip of his arms around her stomach, as they lay watching re-runs of some old show.

She never went home that night.

A thunder storm started up, cracking so loudly that Jade couldn't hear her heartbeat. For a second, she froze and felt Beck stiffen as a result. He buried his face in her neck and told her not to worry.

She gave him a look which said _when have I ever worried? _But she embraced him back all the same.

This was obviously before Tori came along.

;;

Her mind.

It's dark, dank and dam right depressing because she's been living without beck for a while now but there's still no colour in anything.

Jade sees everything a dull, boring, but Beck managed to let her see the flares of colour every now and again; show her a real life. The words echo around and around in her head. _Tori's not my friend _and _if you're not out there when I'm done, I'm going home. And we're over._

Jade's pretty sure if she could fathom the emotion regret and untangle it from everything else she feels, it would be the strongest and definitely most painful.

She can still see in her mind's eye.

The two of them on Cat's webcam. It's like all the old clichés, a train wreck that you just can't tear your eyes away from, no matter how much you want to. She feels sick when she sees Beck leaning in first.

He never did do anything about those girls... _looking _at him all the time.

She'd told him to look worse, but after they had broken up, all he did was look better and Jade hated it. She hated him but mostly she hated herself for letting him go.

Jade would never admit to the relief and gratitude that bubbled up inside her when Tori refused. Some part of Jade's brain registered that Tori would probably be good for Beck, in the same way the Beck was good for her.

Beck looked upset, and Jade cringed. She'd always hated that look.

It was hard for her to accept that he was moving on. That maybe there was someone better for him out there that wasn't her. But she'd let it go, because well, she's _Jade _for God's sake. Not caring about stuff was almost in her job description.

;;

One time it rains in all through lunch, so she drags her latest boyfriend through the surprisingly empty halls to and old spot that her and— that she'd used many times before.

Beck, however, had obviously had the same idea.

They stumbled apart at the presence of new people. His shirt was ripped, buttons hanging loose and hair a mess in a way that Jade had never been able to achieve. Tori's lips were swollen and her belongings were scattered all across the floor.

If Jade wasn't feeling so nauseous, she would've been impressed. I mean, who knew Tori could play rough like the rest of them?

She looked at them through false playful eyes, giving them a teasing wink.

"I'll leave you two kids alone." She said mockingly as she led whoever was with her this time to another of her favourite spots.

;;

Jade never admitted that her constant tears reminded of the rain, but that didn't mean it wasn't true.


End file.
